Hillary Diagnosed With Severe Case of the Trumps

Hillary Diagnosed With Severe Case of the Trumps

BY E. WILLIAMS

It couldn’t come at a worse time, but Hillary Clinton has a bad case of the “Trumps.” Trumps is a viral disease that affects the brain and doctors suspect that Hillary may be using the condition to deflect from her other ailments – mainly lying and covering up crimes related to her private email server.

Dr. Ben Carson told the Los Angeles Times, “Hillary gave a speech this afternoon about foreign policy, and it was painfully obvious to everyone on our staff that the trumps were really bothering her today.”

“When your legal immunity is low, that’s when these things tend to take hold of you. Mrs. Clinton has been spinning so furiously for so long, it was just a matter of time before it caught up with her.”

“What she needs more than anything else right now is jail rest. If you just keep fighting the trumps, they come back stronger the next time.”

X-rays of Hillary’s head not only showed the severity of her case of the trumps, but doctors also saw significant scar tissue on her brain. “It’s apparent from the slides I looked at that Mrs. Clinton has ‘felt the Bern’ very recently. She probably wrote it off to just a bad headache, but it appears the irritation caused some long term damage.”

Clinton’s inner circle of advisers are being watched closely for symptoms as well. Just in recent days, two of her confidants, Cheryl Mills and IT patsy Bryan Pagliano, have suffered from selective memory loss and almost a complete loss of speech.

Mills muttered the words “I don’t recall” and “I have no memory of that” 187 times in 7 hours of testimony regarding Hillary’s email issue. Pagliano’s condition might be more serious, as he has lost the ability to utter any words except “I plead the Fifth” over and over.

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