Your Atelophobia Is Failing You!
Is it really that important how others see us? Is it not more important how we see ourselves? The question arises; who are you measuring yourself by? What standards are you using to determine if you are good enough?
By Dr Faye, Ordained Minister
Have you ever been disappointed by a failed marriage, a date, a purchase or anything at all? If we can be perfectly honest with ourselves, we will say yes; some of us more often than we wish to admit. Looking for just the right words to say is often fear of what others may think. It may be something as simple as trying to find the perfect dress for the occasion, or whether it is the perfect place to take your date, just to be good enough.
The desire to be better than the best, and more perfect than you were last time is taxing our emotional bank account. We spend far too much time on things that do not matter, and not enough time on the things that do. Living a life from the place of pleasing the masses will leave you spiritually, mentally, emotionally and yes, even physically drained.
There is a psychological disorder called, Atelophobia. It is the fear of never being good enough. It is always feeling everything you do is never good enough. The feeling of not being good enough does not prevent this person from doing something. They are just doing it from the place of thinking it will not be good enough. No matter what anyone else says, this person is convinced they could never be perfect. These feelings of never being good enough will set a person up for failure before they ever have a chance to explore new opportunities.
When I was attending undergrad school (which by the way seems like a hundred years ago!), I was so caught up in being at the top of the class, the best in everything, the queen of the parade and anything else that would bring me the attention. Only to discover, this type of attention is short lived, and it does not feed the soul.
I wish I could tell you that when I graduated from college (a hundred years ago), that was all there was to it, but that is not the case. The desire to achieve, and be the best and better than anyone lasted well into my desire to “obtain wealth (money)” years. I wanted the house, the car and you know the stuff, so I could be the next door single woman with the beautiful home, car and great career. I wanted people to appreciate my accomplishments.
It took me several years before I finally realized the only person who cared whether I succeeded in my quest for more, was me. If you are “money” rich, you are the only one who really cares. If you are “poor rich”, you still are the only one who really cares. Oh, I know people say they want to help the poor but most of them never do anything about it. The poor are still the poor, and the rich, well are still the rich; however, there just seems to be more of both these days.
We teach our children that straights A’s will decide their path in life. If they just study and make straight A’s the world will treat them kindly. While this all sounds good, the truth is, not one person ever became great because they made straight A’s. Geniuses were not necessarily the class presidents.
I imagine the 6-year old boy who after having lost his dad; ended up going to work to feed his younger siblings thought he would never be good enough. History has it that beginning at the age of 10, he worked as an insurance salesman, a railroad fireman, a street car conductor and a farmer. By the time he was 40 he was cooking such great chicken in Kentucky that one of his most famous customers, the then governor of Kentucky Ruby Laffoon, coined him as the Kentucky colonel.
How do you measure good enough? Is it measured by how well someone else may be doing the same job? Performance evaluations have been used to determine how well we do our jobs based on that specific job’s expectation. The job’s expectations are based on the company’s requirements for that position. If you meet those expectations, you get to stay. If you fail your performance review, you get to go.
The problem with the system is that there is no evaluation for which job you will be successful at within the same company. Therefore, we leave feeling like we were not good enough.
Throughout our academic lives we are given exams to determine if we are good enough. We interview for positions that decide if we are good enough. We marry expecting to be good enough. If we cannot make the marriage work, we feel as though we are not good enough.
Television game shows are flashed before us in the name of fun; yet many leave disappointed because they were not good enough. From beauty pageants to sports we are measured by the system’s standards to determine if we are good enough.
The cover of magazines market the images of a perfect body. When we look in the mirror, we again think we have failed for we are not good enough to be on the cover. We drive through neighborhoods with houses that are far larger and grander than our own, and we think “if only I could” than I would be good enough.
Is it really that important how others see us? Is it not more important how we see ourselves? The question arises; who are you measuring yourself by? What standards are you using to determine if you are good enough? You do not have to be an A-Student to be good enough.
Some of the brightest people in the world never went to college. As a matter of fact, they failed academically. Reportedly Colonel Sanders was turned down over 1000 times before he received a yes. He decided he was good enough to keep going, and you should too. You have got the goods, keep on going.
Your best without stress is your learning to please your inner you. When you discover who you truly are my friend, you will release the presence and power of the creator to guide you into the realization of the wonder you are. You are amazing, a work of art manifesting every day in every way.
Look at you. You are brighter than the noon day sun, and more powerful than you have ever realized. Shine On, you bright one! Shine On! You are indeed “Good Enough.”
The desire to be better than the best, and more perfect than you were last time is taxing our emotional bank account. We spend far too much time on things that do not matter, and not enough time on the things that do. Living a life from the place of pleasing the masses will leave you spiritually, mentally, emotionally and yes, even physically drained.
There is a psychological disorder called, Atelophobia. It is the fear of never being good enough. It is always feeling everything you do is never good enough. The feeling of not being good enough does not prevent this person from doing something. They are just doing it from the place of thinking it will not be good enough. No matter what anyone else says, this person is convinced they could never be perfect. These feelings of never being good enough will set a person up for failure before they ever have a chance to explore new opportunities.
When I was attending undergrad school (which by the way seems like a hundred years ago!), I was so caught up in being at the top of the class, the best in everything, the queen of the parade and anything else that would bring me the attention. Only to discover, this type of attention is short lived, and it does not feed the soul.
I wish I could tell you that when I graduated from college (a hundred years ago), that was all there was to it, but that is not the case. The desire to achieve, and be the best and better than anyone lasted well into my desire to “obtain wealth (money)” years. I wanted the house, the car and you know the stuff, so I could be the next door single woman with the beautiful home, car and great career. I wanted people to appreciate my accomplishments.
It took me several years before I finally realized the only person who cared whether I succeeded in my quest for more, was me. If you are “money” rich, you are the only one who really cares. If you are “poor rich”, you still are the only one who really cares. Oh, I know people say they want to help the poor but most of them never do anything about it. The poor are still the poor, and the rich, well are still the rich; however, there just seems to be more of both these days.
We teach our children that straights A’s will decide their path in life. If they just study and make straight A’s the world will treat them kindly. While this all sounds good, the truth is, not one person ever became great because they made straight A’s. Geniuses were not necessarily the class presidents.
I imagine the 6-year old boy who after having lost his dad; ended up going to work to feed his younger siblings thought he would never be good enough. History has it that beginning at the age of 10, he worked as an insurance salesman, a railroad fireman, a street car conductor and a farmer. By the time he was 40 he was cooking such great chicken in Kentucky that one of his most famous customers, the then governor of Kentucky Ruby Laffoon, coined him as the Kentucky colonel.
How do you measure good enough? Is it measured by how well someone else may be doing the same job? Performance evaluations have been used to determine how well we do our jobs based on that specific job’s expectation. The job’s expectations are based on the company’s requirements for that position. If you meet those expectations, you get to stay. If you fail your performance review, you get to go.
The problem with the system is that there is no evaluation for which job you will be successful at within the same company. Therefore, we leave feeling like we were not good enough.
Throughout our academic lives we are given exams to determine if we are good enough. We interview for positions that decide if we are good enough. We marry expecting to be good enough. If we cannot make the marriage work, we feel as though we are not good enough.
Television game shows are flashed before us in the name of fun; yet many leave disappointed because they were not good enough. From beauty pageants to sports we are measured by the system’s standards to determine if we are good enough.
The cover of magazines market the images of a perfect body. When we look in the mirror, we again think we have failed for we are not good enough to be on the cover. We drive through neighborhoods with houses that are far larger and grander than our own, and we think “if only I could” than I would be good enough.
Is it really that important how others see us? Is it not more important how we see ourselves? The question arises; who are you measuring yourself by? What standards are you using to determine if you are good enough? You do not have to be an A-Student to be good enough.
Some of the brightest people in the world never went to college. As a matter of fact, they failed academically. Reportedly Colonel Sanders was turned down over 1000 times before he received a yes. He decided he was good enough to keep going, and you should too. You have got the goods, keep on going.
Your best without stress is your learning to please your inner you. When you discover who you truly are my friend, you will release the presence and power of the creator to guide you into the realization of the wonder you are. You are amazing, a work of art manifesting every day in every way.
Look at you. You are brighter than the noon day sun, and more powerful than you have ever realized. Shine On, you bright one! Shine On! You are indeed “Good Enough.”
Source:>>>>>>>>>>>Here
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