Congress Is Unhappy With Pope Francis

Pope Francis Leaves Negative Review of Congress on Yelp

by James Schlarmann
THE VATICAN — Sources close to several Republicans in the House of Representatives and Senate are furious with Pope Francis, and pressure is mounting to send an official letter to the Vatican demanding an apology from the papal pontiff. What has Congressional Republicans upset is nothing the Pope did while he was visiting the United States last week, but rather it was something he did upon returning to The Holy See that has many on the right fuming mad.

“Pope Francis left Congress a very negative review on Yelp,” Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) told reporters early Monday morning, “and I just don’t appreciate that at all.” Ryan said the two-star rating from Pope Francis would have been “bad enough” but the comments he left “just crossed the line.” According to Ryan, Pope Francis complained in his Yelp review that Congressional service was slow, the decor was “antiquated” and that there was a “stunning lack of religious artifacts decorating the halls.” Ryan said Pope Francis’ review admonished Congress to “take a cue from the Vatican and install some gold plated thingamabobs and a throne or two would be sweet too.”

One source close to Sen. Ted Cruz’s office said that Cruz is “hopping mad” but “tolerant” of the idea that the Pope “blew off the most important people in the country — members of congress” to dine with homeless people, but leaving a negative review on Yelp was “a bridge too far.” Cruz said he will immediately launch a full-scale Senate investigation into whether or not the Pope was acting on his own authority, or if he was taking orders from somewhere else. The 2016 Republican presidential candidate isn’t the only one smelling a conspiracy though.

“My question is this,” Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) told reporters at a press conference held after news of the Pope’s negative review broke, “is it a coincidence that the Pope’s review came just three years and a few days after the Benghazi attacks? I think we all know the Pope has some questions to answer, but so do Hillary Clinton and President Obama.” Gowdy insisted that he “will not rest” until he has “chased down every wild-eyed conspiracy theory about the connection between the Pope’s Yelp review and Benghazi, even if I have to invent the connection to justify the millions of dollars I’m going to waste investigating it.”

Rep. Louie Gohmert is “almost certain” that “the Kenyan Muslim in the White House” is at the bottom of this. “I have no doubts in my mind,” Gohmert said on the chamber floor this week, “that collusionistic endeavorfication between Pope Francis and Obama has taken place, and we may never know just how much damage was done by this Yelp review unless we break the bank investigating this horrible scandal.”

“Clearly, if we don’t get the answers we want to hear,” Cruz told reporters, “we will have no choice but to shut the government down. Our voters understand that the only way we can do our jobs is to not do our jobs sometimes.” Cruz added that “no one should feel like they can leave Congress a negative review on Yelp” because “freedom of speech only goes so far.” Senator Cruz said “the Pope should stick to doing what popes do best — telling people how to live their lives according to an unprovable deity’s desires.”

Comments :
Those idiots deserved all the Pope said, did and more! Their radical insanity is out of control! The Pope was right, they are wrong. It’s time someone reminded them that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results! Bengazi, Obama being a Muslim, and Obama Care are perfect examples! Plus I am sure the Pope can form his own opinions and assessment of their hypocracy on his own without Obama’s influence or help! God help us all if America falls into their crazy hands! And by the way, I am not Catholic!  For More on this ....HERE


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