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There is a brand new reality show based out of Boston, called “Saint Hoods.” It features footage of modern day gangsters who intimidate their unfortunate victims in various nefarious ways. I do not consider the show to be particularly entertaining or shocking because I am so used to watching a far worse version of mobster's at work on the nightly news. Barack, your “Saint Barack Hoods,” is a true life drama comprised of the biggest cast of thug like characters ever to walk the once hallowed halls of government. That political freak show is enough to drive all Americans to drink, and I am not talking about the king-size sugary soda’s your communist buddy Bloomberg threatens to outlaw and that someday I am going to have to bootleg.
Barack, three of your biggest “Saint Barack Hoods” reality stars, the irreverent gang of Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Charlie Rangel, are just a few of the “Hoods” who have most captured the “White Cracker Tea Party” audience. Your notorious “Three Stooges” are a good fit for the artificial Hollywood environment full of duplicitous reality stars that you and your political guru’s have such a lascivious love affair with. Hollywood, better known as Holywood to your “Saint Barack Hoods” campaign bundlers, is the ultimate utopian Woodstock fantasy world full of hippie peace and gay love, the counter culture that you and your bureaucratic hacks adore and worship. Barack, you had better make room on your trophy shelf next to your undeserved Noble Peace Prize, because I guarantee that your Holywood injected narcissism will someday win an American Primetime Emmy Award for the stellar role you play as President of the United States in the “Saint Barack Hoods” reality series.
Your show biz stylists in Washington D.C. have done a superb job sprucing up Jackson, Sharpton and Rangel for stardom by outfitting them in freshly pressed, expensive Armani suits and designer silk ties. But, unfortunately, money does not buy class, as deftly illustrated in “My Fair Lady,” and I feel that your famous Hoods should have undergone a crash course in social graces and phonetics from someone like a Henry Higgins first. Saul Alinsky, your dead Marxist mentor taught you well when he wrote that “tactics means doing what you can with what you have” and I guess that says it all. If your three token racist “Saint Barack Hoods” are the best Black hoodlums you can drum up, then I guess you are stuck with them...just like you are stuck with Vice-president Joe Biden. Count me in with an invite when Jackson, Sharpton and Rangel show up on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to receive their five pointed brass stars which will be embedded in the sidewalk there. A good source told me that their stars will be permanently cemented into the sidewalk on the “shady” side of Hollywood Boulevard, alongside a bright red fire hydrant, and between Rin Tin Tin and Lassie’s shiny brass stars. I understand that Chris Mathews will attend the event and “christen” or “tinkle” on all five dog icons at the same time...or was that tingle?
Barack, I grew up with Leave It To Beaver, Donna Reed, Bonanza and Walter Cronkite. Those were the days when Americans still trusted the media and family relationships were extolled by a righteous government that still honored God. Now, your agnostic regime and Holywood media types are working overtime to pump out a cesspool of
propaganda and excrement entertainment aimed at ruining our children. America’s youth are being exposed to such stellar reality shows as Jersey Shore, Teen Mom and soon to be MTV reality show of the year, Modern-Day Virgins. That show will feature cast members who are “plagued with the overwhelming question of keeping their virginity...or losing it.” Are you going to let your own daughters view it...I highly doubt it, but I know that you will continue to suck off your cold-blooded Holywood pimp hustlers, whose sole purpose is to help you and your fellow Marxists destroy the moral foundation and character of America, while they are richly rewarded with millions of dollars in tax credits and incentives.
Barack, I used to turn on the TV to alleviate my boredom while ironing. Now, when I turn on the TV, no matter what I watch I am reminded of you and therefore have to severely limit my viewing time. Take for example “Chopped” on Food Network. Just seeing the word “Chopped” increases my anxiety level to nearly explosive levels because all I can think of is those Jihadist Muslims you have befriended! I am sure that I am one infidel housewife they would love to chop the head off of and proudly display on Al Jazeera TV. I can just see the headlines now, “Housewife’s Head Chopped Off, Food Network Cry’s Foul!” Then what about the show “Naked and Afraid?” That sordid exhibition is a reminder of what will happen to me when you and your DHS degenerate cohorts decide to stage a false flag event and institute martial law. I am horrified at the prospect of hiding in the woods behind my apartment, naked! Now, in addition to everything else I need to do to prepare for my future survival, I am sewing like a bandit, making loin cloths so that my GMO infused, genetically altered bulges and cellulite are not caught on tape by your Peeping Tom drones.
There are, however, a few television shows that I can still enjoy. One of my favorites is Duck Dynasty. I like how those wealthy, successful Rednecks are teaching us all how to cook squirrels on a stick over an open fire and pull the skin off of frogs. As the days tick by and you still have not been impeached, I feel the need to acquire those much needed wilderness survival skills. Another show is “America’s Most Wanted.” I keep praying that John Walsh will take on the important detective work that you, Congress, the Pentagon, the FBI and the CIA should be doing to uncover the gory details of those mysterious murders that took place to Americans who were involved in the Seal Team Six and Benghazi debacles. One more favorite is Nascar, one of the last sporting events that features the National Anthem and prayer before every race. I used to look forward to the military flyovers too, but due to your “selective” sequestration, those planes have been grounded. I have to wonder if things would be different if your wife, Michelle, had not been treated to a loud chorus of boos at the season finale in 2011. Nascar fans hope that was her last visit to a race track.
On a final note, I do wish you a lot of luck with your Saint Barack Hoods series. With over three more years of harsh reality ahead, you and your fellow lawbreakers should be able to cover an exciting array of topics, like; the how-to’s of sexting, cheating, lying, race baiting, administering tyrannical executive orders, passing amendments that “we the people” do not want, spending money we do not have, taking away our freedom of speech, taking away our freedom of religion, brainwashing our children who are attending the public school system, spying on American citizens, spying on the press, intimidation tactics used by the IRS, pandering to the gays, pandering to the Muslims, pandering to the feminists, pandering to the UN, abortion mandates, fueling religious wars, debasing our military, funding terrorists, genetically altering our food supply, spreading false rumors about the climate, stockpiling ammo, trying to take away our guns, trying to pass mass immigration, and so much more that my head is spinning! “The Saint Barack Hoods” series truly has all the makings of a smash hit!
Barack, being a housewife in your lousy economy, I have had to learn how to turn lemons into lemonade. As a result, I have a brilliant idea as to how to turn around your rotten economy and completely eliminate America’s now more than 16 trillion dollar national debt! If you turn the Bureau of Engraving and Printing office in Washington DC into a printing press for hoodies, it will solve two problems. One, you will no longer have the ability to print money and two, white hoodies with the “Saint Barack Hoods” logo printed on them would be an overnight success! Every dumb American who voted for you would flock to Walmart to buy one and the smarter citizens like myself who did not vote for you would buy one just to help eliminate the future cataclysmic event that will take place if we do not get our national debt under control. It could be the “win win” marketing marvel of the century.
Barack, I am confident that your “Saint Barack Hoods” brand could blossom into an enormous national fascist business and include; oversized boxers, sneakers, beer huggies, teleprompters, bongs, switch blades, masks, guns, and everything else that a Saint Barack Hood could ever want! America would be debt free and it’s citizens handsomely dressed and armed at the same time! So keep up the underhanded hoodlum work Barack and diligently keep adding to that list of sensational scandals! If you do, your Cuba loving friend Jay-Z will be able to rap to the world about the “swag” hoodie American Dream and boast about how our streets are paved in bling. America will shine once again.
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